Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Who am I?

Well, I'm heading to the RE's tomorrow for my first official "Injections 101" lesson, along w/ baseline sono (love that dildocam), blood work, and of course, payment in full. So, I should be posting more frequently in the coming weeks, which brings me to...

My story. I realize I haven't said much about my background to date, and I've always found it helpful when reading other's blogs. So...without further adieu.....

The Barron and I got married back in 2002 - we were in no rush at the time to start a family, and silly me, being convinced that I'd get knocked up at the drop of a hat went on the pill. This was no small decision for me. I was raised Catholic (still am) and my parents are of the old belief that birth control (along with pre-marital sex) was against my faith (although they have loosened up with this in recent months considering their open-ess to IVF). Needless to say, I was wracked with guilt over going on the pill and swore that 3 years would be my cutoff point.

Fast forward to 2006. We had just purchased our house and were ready to start the process. I came off the pill in February and we waited until July to get started. Months pass....other friends get pregnant...babies are born, negative test, negative test. Money spent on OPK tests, pregnancy tests, pre-seed and the like. I'm thinking something is wrong. Everyone is telling me "just relax".

A woman knows her own body and when something isn't right. That's all I have to say about that.

I go in for my regular pap in 07 and my OBGYN referrs me to an RE "just to check things out". RE is awesome, schedules me and the Barron for some tests. Barron is all good - has super sperm - yay for him! Everything looks good on my sono, so I get signed up for the HSG. HSG is a miserable experience. I know for some of you ladies out there it wasn't so bad, but for me, it was awful. My single worst experience (to date) in this entire process. Results are clear. RE says "give it a few more months".

A few more months pass. I am given a 3 day blood test and then scheduled for a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, D&C and tubal lavage (phew). Only after all of this do we get to the diagnosis, which brings us to today.

I've spent the last few months depressed over this entire thing and am feeling optimistic for the first time in a long time. I know it's a long shot, but by this time next month, I might be pregnant. I also know that my wait and struggle hasn't been as long or as problematic as some others, but I feel that infertility is a major obstacle in itself and every person who goes through it is stronger for it (even though it royally sucks).

I'm also so excited to see that I made the blogroll on Stirrup Queens - I guess I really have to start writing better now!

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