Thursday, March 27, 2008

Spank Tank

Back during Freshman year of college, my friend G had the most disgusting roommates I had ever met. One of them shared a bunk with G, sleeping on the bottom. This vile dude would cover the side of the lower bunk with towels while he was "doing his business" - hence, the spank tank was born.

I bring this up, because tomorrow, while I am having my eggs aspirated from my ovaries via a needle in my vadge, the Barron will be providing the clinic with the most important specimen of his life (no pressure, hon!). After discussions with the Barron about this process, I have determined that the spank tank from my college days would be preferable to the cold, bare room at the clinic.

Seeing as we live roughly an hour from our clinic, hubby has had to give all of his specimens in-house, rather than at home and transported via car. Back when we first started meeting with the RE, he had to use the room at the clinic for his analysis and commented on the lack of "appropriate material" to get his juices flowing (no pun intended). Oh sure, there are a few old Playboys a couple of Maxims, and some outdated DVD's, but come on - this stuff is important! We need to bring out the big guns here!

So, I have told the Barron to find the best "materials" that he can possibly find on the interwebs to bring with him. I want him to be as primed as possible so that we have the strongest, most virile swimmers available. He better enjoy this while he can.

(This posting was approved by the Barron - wouldn't embarrass him w/out clearing it w/him first! - Hope it wasn't offensive to any of you!) :)


JJ said...

Haha, it made me laugh--it makes me think back to seeing Mook's face before he went in to give "the sample"

Hoping for a great "session" ;)

sara said...

Too funny...wishing you all the best tomorrow!

Hollie said...

Good luck to you!! Please let us know how egg retrieval is- that seems to be the part that I'm most anxious about at this point, so let us know all the details. We'll be hoping for the best for you!

Carrie said...

DVD's!!!! No way. My husband would be grateful for that I'm sure. He does complain a little. In fact he reckons the bike magazines in the waiting room are better than the, ehm....other material!

Hope you BOTH get on well tomorrow xx

Tarable said...

Good luck to you and the Baron!

Tara said...

Whoops that's me above. Signed in as my other name...

tam said...

No doubt the quality of the porn is directly proportional to the quality of the sperm. This is a scientifically proven fact, I'm pretty sure.

I really liked my husband's story. When he went to give a sample (for sperm analysis purposes--not that it matters, I suppose), there were several drawers full of different types of magazines, to cover all the bases of what different guys might need. So of course he had to look at them all, right? You don't not look at them all. And what do you think he found in the bottom drawer?

Gay porn.

[Disclaimer: Nothing wrong with gay porn. And of course, there are probably quite a number of openly gay men who want to have kids and are therefore concerned about their sperm count. But still, we thought it funnier (or, uh, more tragic?) to imagine the happily married man skipping off to the sample collection room, having trouble finding something to help him out, and finally finding the goods in the bottom drawer...]