Monday, March 17, 2008

Needles and Pins

First off, let me say Happy St. Patrick's day to one and all. As an Irish-American, today is usually a day full of celebration and let's face it...drinking. I still plan on celebrating today, but it's going to be hard to resist the Guinness. Oh well...greater good, right? :)

Back in high school, I went to see Pulp Fiction with two of my friends at the local movie theatre. There is a scene in the movie where one of the characters shoots up heroin while driving his car. I remember watching that scene and having to avert my eyes from the screen because watching the needle go in bothered me so much. Ever since that day, I have been unable to view any type of needle on TV or in the movies. I also get faint pretty much every time I receive a vaccination, blood draw or anesthesia. Perfect candidate for IVF, right?

I never thought I would say this, but for the past 3 days, I have been successfully injecting myself with hormones as well as receiving regular blood draws. I watch the needles go in, I sink the plunger, and I pull it out. And, I'm still here. I'm in shock myself, I tell you. So, the first positive to come out of this entire process is that I am no longer in fear of needles (well, I'm still afraid of the scary PIO one - but I still have a few weeks for that!).

Anywho...things have been going alright so far ( I think). Had a blood draw and morning coffee with the dildocam yesterday and received an increase in my meds. I'm now on 8 vials of powder in one cc. That's a whole heck of a lot of hormones. The thing that is troubling me is that I haven't had any side-effects to date. Is that just lucky, or a sign that things aren't working? My ovaries are not in ideal shape, so I'm afraid that this already isn't working and I'm only 3 days in. Anyone have experience with this? I'm trying to remain as positive as possible, but I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that's saying "it's not going to work - stop fooling yourself". Gah!!!!

I could use that Guinness right about now.

2 comments:

sara said...

Hey happy belated St Patty's day from one Irish chick to another! I'm so glad your stims are going well...even though I'm a nurse, the thought of injecting myself 4-6 times a day didn't sound fun...so I understand your fears. As far as the side effects..don't worry if you don't feel any at first. You know..I only felt headaches from the lupron - which you said you're not on, right? Near the end I got a little sore and definately bloated..but it wasn't as bad as I thought so I was wondering the same thing. Like am I doing things right? Am I just not responding? So don't worry..just hang in there..I'm thinking of you!

sara said...

Oh yeah..we really are in sinc (I know I spelled that wrong :-) with our cycles and thoughts right now. It's funny you mentioned pulp fiction because I am one of the losers who have never seen it, but I did this Sunday so I now know the scene you are talking about..I had the same thoughts!