Monday, March 17, 2008

Needles and Pins

First off, let me say Happy St. Patrick's day to one and all. As an Irish-American, today is usually a day full of celebration and let's face it...drinking. I still plan on celebrating today, but it's going to be hard to resist the Guinness. Oh well...greater good, right? :)

Back in high school, I went to see Pulp Fiction with two of my friends at the local movie theatre. There is a scene in the movie where one of the characters shoots up heroin while driving his car. I remember watching that scene and having to avert my eyes from the screen because watching the needle go in bothered me so much. Ever since that day, I have been unable to view any type of needle on TV or in the movies. I also get faint pretty much every time I receive a vaccination, blood draw or anesthesia. Perfect candidate for IVF, right?

I never thought I would say this, but for the past 3 days, I have been successfully injecting myself with hormones as well as receiving regular blood draws. I watch the needles go in, I sink the plunger, and I pull it out. And, I'm still here. I'm in shock myself, I tell you. So, the first positive to come out of this entire process is that I am no longer in fear of needles (well, I'm still afraid of the scary PIO one - but I still have a few weeks for that!).

Anywho...things have been going alright so far ( I think). Had a blood draw and morning coffee with the dildocam yesterday and received an increase in my meds. I'm now on 8 vials of powder in one cc. That's a whole heck of a lot of hormones. The thing that is troubling me is that I haven't had any side-effects to date. Is that just lucky, or a sign that things aren't working? My ovaries are not in ideal shape, so I'm afraid that this already isn't working and I'm only 3 days in. Anyone have experience with this? I'm trying to remain as positive as possible, but I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that's saying "it's not going to work - stop fooling yourself". Gah!!!!

I could use that Guinness right about now.


sara said...

Hey happy belated St Patty's day from one Irish chick to another! I'm so glad your stims are going well...even though I'm a nurse, the thought of injecting myself 4-6 times a day didn't sound I understand your fears. As far as the side effects..don't worry if you don't feel any at first. You know..I only felt headaches from the lupron - which you said you're not on, right? Near the end I got a little sore and definately bloated..but it wasn't as bad as I thought so I was wondering the same thing. Like am I doing things right? Am I just not responding? So don't worry..just hang in there..I'm thinking of you!

sara said...

Oh yeah..we really are in sinc (I know I spelled that wrong :-) with our cycles and thoughts right now. It's funny you mentioned pulp fiction because I am one of the losers who have never seen it, but I did this Sunday so I now know the scene you are talking about..I had the same thoughts!