So THAT'S the problem!

My eggs are rotten.

That's pretty much the deal. Went to the RE yesterday for a follow up after my laparoscopy, and that's the information I got.

Basically, he showed us a video of my lap. I knew something was wrong immediately when he was scrolling through the tape (yes, a videotape - hello, 21st century!!!) of other patients laps and said to me "that's not yours - I know it when I see it". So obviously, something is up. And it is. It seems that my ovaries, like the rest of me, are small. Small and unhealthy. Resulting in unhealthy eggs.

This means a number of things.
It is very difficult, but not impossible for me to get pregnant the natural way
IVF is the recommended option, but is still less likely to work for me than for a "normal" patient.
Due to the unhealthy ovaries, my FSH levels are high for a woman my age, and I'm most likely to go through an early menopause. That one was rough to hear.

So, what's next? IVF. Yep, that's right, I, who am petrified of all things needle, am going to inject myself with numerous drugs and such for something that isn't even a guarantee.

We're going to wait until after the holidays and our trip to Ireland (yay)! Once that's all done, I'm going to go all health-Nazi - no more alcohol, caffeine, etc...I want my body to be the perfect environment for this potential baby. I don't want to screw this up. I have 2 shots at this (according to my insurance).

So, that's where I stand now. I'm handling this better than I thought I would. I'm actually more upset for the Barron I think it actually hit him yesterday what we're in for, and I can't help but feel terrible about this. I sometimes wonder if he knew this before we got married if he would have had second thoughts. I think I would have.