I'm finding myself at a crossroads. As you know, I lost my job a few months ago. It wasn't something that I loved doing per se, but it did give me the ability to work from home and make a decent income. I was also good at it. My boss was an incompetent fool who believed in crystals and thought of herself as a "Goddess" and told me that by firing me, she was freeing me up to "find my calling". What a crock of shit.
Anywho, fast forward to a few months later. I have been able to pick up some additional work. Still working from home, but making a fraction of what I was before. I know I'm lucky compared to a LOT of other people out there right now, but it still smarts. The Barron is also gainfully employed (for now), so we are able to stay above water.
The main problem, however? I'm working for a friend.
Long story short, this friend is a previous co-worker. She had hooked me up with an interview for a full - time position at her company (with benefits!) which was all but locked down. I was supposed to be hired in May. The contract fell through, and here I sit. In the interim, I had turned down two decent offers to hold out for the first.
My friend is also an entrepreneur and she has thrown me some work from her side company to keep me going. I know I should be appreciative, and I am, but I can't help but thinking that I've made a major mistake. However, I'm not sure what the major mistake was.
- Was is taking a job from this friend?
- Was it turning down the other opportunities?
- Was it moving to the contractor side of things 5 years ago?
- Was it moving to this industry 7 years ago?
- Was it taking any paying job I could get straight out of college, sending me on this path to begin with?
- Was it majoring in (gasp!) Communications in college?
I'm thinking it's the last option. Upon graduation, I had delusions of moving out to California and getting a job in film production. Three months later, I was working in publishing as it was the only job I could find in NY that would give me benefits and was somewhat in my field. After that, I bounced from publishing job to publishing job, never really loving what I was doing, but collecting a paycheck just the same.
After that, I moved into the online world, where opportunity was endless (or so I thought). And now, here I am. I don't think I want to do this anymore, but I also don't know what I want to do otherwise. I want to have another child, and being the lucky IF'er that I am, I will need to get a paycheck in order to do so.
Where am I going with this? I have no idea. It feels good to get it out though, which I all I really wanted to do right now.