Ugh, I'm coming in a little late on NIAW, and I had every intention on having this post finished in time. So, a day late and a dollar short, here it is:
In honor of National Infertility Awarness Week, I bring to you a post about religion and faith and infertility.
A few weeks ago, my mother brought to my attention an opinion piece in our local Catholic publication regarding IVF. Normally a hard-line Catholic, my mom was infuriated by what this priest had written. Now, I know that in its basic teachings, the Church is opposed to IVF. This was something I struggled with when starting on my journey to Gavin, but eventually put those concerns aside, as I believe that my God would not deny me the ability to have my own child when I was so ready and willing to have one. I would just have to go about it in a different way than most people.
After a while, I logged on and read the piece and was seething with anger by the time I finished. It is a complete and utter condemmnation of those who choose this route.
Now, my faith is extremely important to me, but going through this entire infertility/IVF process has really made me re-examine my faith and the teachings of my Church. I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten through 12th Grade and also attended a Catholic affiliated college. I have found solace in Religon many times over throughout my lifetime. I have travelled to see the Pope twice, participated in Youth Ministry, and was a cantor and Eucharistic Minister throughout my teenage years. I married a non-Catholic, but continued to attend Church on my own. When I received my infertility diagnoisis, I turned to God and said prayer upon prayer to help us through the process.
Although my child was "created" by science, I believe that science was directed by our love and ultimately by God. If my boy was not meant to be, then he would not be.
Now, I do understand where this priest is coming from in terms of adoption. There are indeed many children out there looking for a loving home. This is something that the Barron and I seriously considered, and we still have not ruled it out for future children. However, the adoption process is almost more time consuming and difficult than IVF, and we were not willing to take that route without at least trying for our own biological child.
I do still go to Church occasionally, but my feeling when there has changed significantly. I no longer feel the comfort and solace that I once felt while sitting in the pew. I almost see Church now as a doorway to direct communication with God. A God that I feel, could never look at my son as anything less than a miracle. And this is what keeps my faith alive, while my religion has somewhat lapsed.