Wednesday, July 13, 2011


Been a while. Still in the 2ww. I started spotting on Monday (same as last time), but it has progressively gotten darker, and more red. Leading me to believe that this was a bust. I haven't had a good feeling about it since the beginning, so methinks I may have been right all along.

This sucks. I'm actually more angry than sad at this point. I can't help but think that if I had a handle on my fertility (or lack thereof) earlier in my life, than maybe this could have been avoided. Maybe it could be avoided for a lot of women. Don't you think it would be in our best interests to do some sort of check on the female reproductive system during a GYN visit? Give the woman the knowledge of whether or not she'll be able to conceive. Give her the option of freezing her eggs, if she's not ready to reproduce at that time. If I had known then what I know now, I would have done this. Then I would have some healthy eggs to work with.

If I end up with a negative test, I really don't know what our next steps are. Not sure if it's worth doing this again, especially if my eggs are getting worse. Not sure how I feel about egg donor or adoption at this point. Maybe we'll just stick with what we've got. G is the bestest little boy around, so I am very thankful for that. Just wish I could give him a little brother or sister.


Sorry for rambling


Willow said...

I've been saying for years that FSH testing should at least be offered at well woman exams--it's not like a little blood draw is such a big deal! I got married at 22, and while I don't think having kids quite that young would have been smart, if I'd known what I was working with then, we could've gotten started sooner (since my eggs were already bad by 26 when we did start trying, maybe this wouldn't have mattered--but I kinda think it would). And that would've been my only chance at pregnancy with my own eggs. But then, who knows if our path would still have led us to adoption and our precious little boy, or egg donation and the baby girl I'm growing right now. So I can't really have regrets on my own behalf, not anymore, but I totally agree that there should be more reproductive screening offered so people are aware of their options (knowing my husband had low sperm count 4 years before we started TTC would've been good, too). I'm sorry this cycle is sending you not-so-great signs. Hang in there--hoping it still all works out.

JJ said...

What a roller coaster you have been on! Been thinking lots about you but have just now been able to get to your blog. Im still HOLDING onto hope for you. When is beta? xoxo