Thursday, September 30, 2010

Clarification

I realize my post yesterday was short and didn't really elaborate on why we're going forward with IVF #2 now. I'm actually trying to keep this round a secret from family and friends (too many questions and too much input from too many people last time), so I plan on laying everything out here on my blog.

Now is actually a pretty bad time to be doing this. Money is tight, G is showing signs of the approaching the terrible twos, and our house is in no way ready for a second child.

However, I was warned upon my first pregnancy not to wait too long before trying again, as my window for child bearing is pretty small. Over the past few months, my periods have been becoming more and more irregular, leading me to believe that the window is almost closed. Along with that, the news from a best friend this week that she is pregnant (no jealousy here - totally happy for her), lit the fire that I needed to move this process along. Barron is totally supportive, but both of us are petrified. Excited, but petrified.

Here's why:

  • Money, again.
  • The possibility of multiples
  • The unpredictability of my job.
  • How G will deal with a baby in the house.
  • How will I love another child as much as I love G?
  • What if it doesn't work? (This is a very real possibility given my history).
I do find myself wanting to be pregnant again though and haven't felt this way in a long time.

So, it's off to the RE on Monday...most likely a date with my old suitor, the dildocam, bloodwork and all that jazz.

I have a feeling this time is going to be tougher than last. We shall see.

Thanks for the well wishes!

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