Phew

Everything is fine. Saw the bean, heard the heartbeat. Thank God. Ok, off to get some stuff done today. More from me later

Still spotting

Very trace amounts and the RE's office says it's normal, (esp. after coming off progesterone) but it was a teeny tiny bit red when I wiped today, and I'm so nervous. OB appointment tomorrow. Please let everything be ok.

It never gets easier, does it?

PIO shots ended on Friday night. Yay!

Noticed brown spotting today - not so much yay.

Why does this always happen on the weekend?

Why can't I look like this? (And I'm only having one baby!)

Flawless. Damn.

But seriously, 6 kids under the age of 7? Wow. I am in awe. Even with nannies and the like. Wow.

Anywho, I know it's been a while since I've posted, but I haven't really had all that much to report. Things have been pretty much plugging along. The nausea has mostly subsided and I'm starting to feel more like myself. I've actually gotten in a few brisk walks outside and started doing light weight training to tighten up my arms and the like. I'm trying to stay somewhat fit (not that I'm the picture of fitness), for a wedding that I'm in on November 1st. Yeah, I'll be 7.5 months pregnant...what of it?

My most anticipated event comes at 8:30EST Friday evening, when the Barron administers my final PIO shot! I (and my ass) have been waiting for this day for over 2 months. I have demanded that we go out on Saturday night to celebrate - for once I won't have to run home to get stuck! Yahoo!

Also visiting the OB on Wednesday. This will be my first OB visit and the first time I've seen the bean in about 3 weeks. Hopefully everything is progressing nicely.

...that dress is effing amazing. Gah!

Things are looking up

So, I've managed to string together three relatively nausea-free days and feel much more like myself. This of course has now led me to being nervous that I'm NOT feeling sick. "Is there something wrong?" etc.... Never a dull moment, I tell you.

Anywho, one of my closest friends had her baby on Monday. This friend is the person I was writing about when I started this blog. I can't believe how far we've come since then. She had a beautiful baby girl and is feeling all sorts of excitement. I know she's been through a lot to get here and I couldn't be happier for her.

Now, I just want to skip the next 7 months or so and have this kid. I can't wait. Oh, and another thing I can't wait for? May 16th - last PIO shot. I'm counting the days...so is my ass.

The hangover that never ends

Nausea. Won't go away. Won't give me an hour's peace. All I want to do is go outside for a walk, but I'm afraid of throwing up on a neighbors lawn. Please baby, give your mother a break.

The exception to the rule?

I just got off the phone with my mom. She's been telling people here and there about the pregnancy, (which is fine; I'm pretty much over trying to keep her quiet now) and everyone is reacting kindly. "She's so thrilled!", "She cried!", etc.

Then she asked me: "have you told anyone else yet?"
"Not really," I said. "I'll tell people when I see them".

Then I realized. I'm not really going out of my way to tell people. I could tell that she thought this was strange, but it's just how I feel. I am definitely excited, but I haven't gotten to the point of yelling and screaming and jumping around the house. Maybe it's the fear of something still going wrong, I don't know.

Also, and I know this sounds odd....I don't want to be defined by this pregnancy. Ever since I've told certain people about it, it's all they ask about:

"How are you feeling?"
"Are you excited?"
"Have you registered yet?"
etc...

I'm still me. Yes, I'm pregnant. Yes, I'm going to have a baby (God willing). But, I still work every day, still do my laundry, still watch TV and laugh with my husband. I'm still me, just with a little extra. Can we talk about something else, please?

Maybe it's the IF thing. I'm so used to being the infertile that this is just foreign to me. I'm still not sure how I should be reacting.

I kiss the sonogram picture on the fridge every day and read exerpts from the "pregnancy journal" to my husband on a nightly basis. I rub my belly and tell my baby how much we love it and can't wait to meet it every night. I look online at nursery furniture and bedding and strollers, but won't dare purchase a thing until at least the 2nd trimester...I do all of these things...I just don't feel like shouting it from the rooftops just yet. Am I the exception to the rule?