October 4, 2007. I go in to the hospital to have my Lap & Hysteroscopy and am later diagnosed with diminished ovarian quality.
October 4, 2008. My baby shower.
I am getting bigger by the day and feel disgusting.
My body is voluptuous and I feel sexy.
I am afraid of change - good, bad, you name it. I don't handle it well.
I can't wait to meet this baby.
I wish I had more time.
I want it here tomorrow.
I am worried about how my marriage will change.
I can't wait to see how this changes our marriage.
I'm going to be a terrible mother.
I'm going to kick ass at this mothering stuff.
I am petrified.
I am elated.
3 comments:
I am elated that you even get to have musings such as these in the first place. And you know what? All of these conflicting feelings are perfectly normal. You spend the last few weeks semi-freaked but still excited about all the ways in which your life is going to change and you can hardly imagine it, but then when it happens, you find that it's hard to completely remember just what it was like before. And oh, what a sweet feeling that is!
You're going to be fantastic. I can't wait to hear all about it.
Isn't that the truth? Pregnancy is such a contradictions of sorts, isn't it? I'm so excited that you're 30 weeks!
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