Thinking of miracles

Sometimes when I'm lying on the couch with Gavin on my chest and he is just looking up at my face, I can't help but think that I had no business having this child, yet here he is. And then, I always feel like crying. I just love this little boy so much.

I haven't posted all that much recently...G's been keeping me busy, and work is nuts. I just can't seem to string enough coherent thoughts together to make an interesting post. Although, I do have a few drafts started, which I do intend on posting soon.

Right now though, all I can seem to think is, "Good Lord, where is the time going?"

...and, when and if I want to give it another go.

What a difference a year makes

Monday, March 31 2008

Tuesday, March 31 2009


Thank you, God.
(and Science too!)

Slainte

Last year, I wrote this, and then this. It was not a happy St. Patrick's Day. Now, I have this:

May the luck of the Irish be with you!

90%

My son is a big boy.

We just got back from the doctors, where Gavin got 3 more immunizations (and Mommy shed a few tears over the needles). Other than that, I found out that my son is a giant. He's 14.5 lbs and 24.75 inches. Basically, he's almost half my height! Sad.

All of this puts him in the 90th percentile.

He handled his needles like a champ and is still sleeping in his car seat in the living room. I'll let him rest - he had a rough day.

Other than that, things are going well. Gavin is now 10 weeks old - he smiles, coos like crazy and is almost at the point where he can roll over. I am having a dilemma though. Should I be putting him on his belly more? I keep reading that he should be able to push himself up on his arms by now, and he can't. Actually, he'd rather just lie there and suck on his fists...heh.

He's got amazing head control and neck strength otherwise, but doesn't really push up when I put him on his belly. Any thoughts?

He went to his first St. Patrick's Day parade this weekend and was the hit of the party! I thought he might freak out with all of the people, but he was just great. I've also discovered that he's quite a flirt with the ladies.

Well, he's waking up now, and it's bottle time, so I must be going.

Just when I thought I was out...

Had my 6 week follow up today and of course, the question about birth control came up. My doctor is a big proponent of the pill, but didn't even try to push it on me. Basically, it's pointless, because the likelihood of me getting pregnant sans-science is slim to none. And what's more? If I want to try again, I should do it within the year.

For real? I'm just getting adjusted to my little guy, and I have to think about getting pregnant again within the year? I definitely want to give Gavin a sibling, but was hoping to at least have 2 years between kids. Ideally, it would be more than that, but I knew that was unlikely with my situation. So, now IVF in the next 6-12 months is a real possibility. I don't know if I'm ready for that again. This sucks.

The Barron and I need to have a serious discussion tonight. Just when I thought I was over the fertility issue, I get pulled back in. IF still sucks, even though I have my little G man.

Groove is in the heart...

So, I think, THINK we are finally getting into some sort of groove. I have now been able to shower 3 days in a row and am able to get more things done than before while still tending to Gavin's needs.

Speaking of, the little G-man is now 5 weeks old. I have no idea where the past month went. My days are broken into intervals of feeding, diapering and cuddling (this used to be crying, but has gotten significantly better). I am so lucky to be his mom - he is the best thing I have ever done and is so cute that I could just eat him up.

Here are some quick bullets so I can get this post completed before he wakes up from his nap.

• Sleeping - Was an issue at the start and is finally getting better. Waking up in the middle of the night for feedings is not the problem, but getting him to go down to sleep initially is the rough part. He's a fidgety kid - kicks his legs and flails his arms about, which prevents him from relaxing. I bought him a sleep positioner this week which seems to have helped.
• Feeding - I started out breastfeeding, but have since switched over to bottle. I do not regret this as my son is thriving and I am much happier.
• Development - He is starting to smile, which is just the most amazing thing. Other than that, I hope I'm providing enough stimulation for him. How much should I be doing with a 5-week old? Any advice? I play music, let him study my face, talk to him, tummy time (but probably not enough)...Just hope I'm doing enough.
• Work - I've actually started working again. As a contractor, I don't really get a maternity leave, and I need to get a paycheck. I have help 2 days a week (parents and inlaws), and this allows me to get in my conference calls and get some work done. I'm still way behind and probably will be for some time, but at least I get to work from home.

I'm glad to see that all of you are doing well - even though I haven't been posting, I have been checking in on all of you. Hopefully, now that we're down to this "groove", I'll be posting more.

Free time? What's that?

Clearly, I have been neglecting my blog. An update is forthcoming, I promise. Gavin is a demanding little boy, and all of my "free" time is spent getting stuff done around the house and sleeping. Writing thank you notes now, and then will string together a post.