20 Weeks

20 Weeks today. I'm in awe of the fact that I am halfway through a pregnancy that I never thought I would have. As I was sitting in the doctor's office today waiting to get called for my ultrasound, I reflected on my time at the RE's clinic - blood draws, needles, dildo cams, etc....It all seems so long ago, and yet just like yesterday at the same time. I am ever so greatful and will be indebted to these people for the rest of my life for the gift they have given me.

Who else am I thankful for/to? The Barron. This entire process has most definitely made our marriage stronger. I know this hasn't been the easiest road for him, and he has been nothing but supportive and my true partner. He's going to be a great father.

Anywho, on to the details. We saw the cheesecake today. Yes, we're calling it the cheesecake. Basically, my last name is that of a famous brand of cheesecake starting with the word "Baby" - so, it works. If you haven't figured it out, that's fine...it still gives me some sense of anonymity. :) The ultrasound was perfect. Nice strong heart, all internal organs accounted for, ten fingers, ten toes, and a cute little face (well, what I could make of it anyway). Then came the question:

"Do you want to know?"

And, at that moment, although every fiber of my being was shouting "YES!!!!"...

"No, we're going to wait"

ARRRRRGH. That was one of the hardest things I've done. The tech knows, the doctors know, and I don't. Although, going through IVF has enabled us to know everything; some things we never wanted to know in the first place...so, we should be able to have this one thing. 2o more weeks and I'll have my answer.